Telling Harry Potter Slant
If you told Harry Potter as Hermione Granger, it would not have escaped your notice how often her life was threatened not by Voldemort but by her bratty nazi classmates for years and the professors and other students at Hogwarts were always like, “haha, yeah, purebloodism, what can you do?”
HAGRID: You know I'm not a booksmart man but don't you think the kids need some kind of education in race, given the whole purebloodism thing?
DUMBLEDORE: don't be silly, how would antiracist training stop Voldemort from coming back? No, what these kids need are STEM classes.
LUCIOUS: what are they teaching you?
DRACO: potions, beasts, dark arts, quidditch
LUCIOUS: but no sociology, right?
DRACO: no, of course not
LUCIOUS: good, the liberal arts get in the way of our bald, naked contempt for the poor and otherized
ARTHUR: I like muggles, they're stupid and quaint
MOLLY: Arthur, don't you think, I dunno, that you're teaching the kids to otherize the Muggles as subhuman creatures?
ARTHUR: haha no
MOLLY: that maybe you're training them to be a bit racist
ARTHUR: haha don't be a twat
MINISTRY OF MAGIC: we have to do something about purebloodism in the schools
DUMBLEDORE: I know
MINISTRY OF MAGIC: what do you propose
DUMBLEDORE: I have literally zero ideas. None. Not a single possible thing we could do.
MINISTRY OF MAGIC: well we tried.
HERMIONE: you know, Muggle teenagers learn about World War II and why it happened
HARRY: but the Holocaust is MUGGLE history, who gives a shit
SNAPE: hands down, miss granger
DRACO: filthy mudblood
SNAPE: mister malfoy, did you just call your classmate a mudblood?
DRACO: yes, sir
SNAPE: just making sure I heard you correctly as I proceed to do absolutely nothing about it
MCGONAGALL: we'll issue a solidarity statement expressing our insistence against purebloodism. That should do it. Who wants to write it?
DUMBLEDORE: Not it.
SNAPE: Definitely not it.
HAGRID: I'll do it.
MCGONAGALL: How is he and the crazy cat guy the only staff we have here.